Self Portraits

As a photographer, I prefer to be behind the camera. Recently, I read a book of 365 self portraits (one for everyday in a year). I thought to myself, "there is no way I would be discipline enough to ever do something like that"; at the same time thinking that it would be a really great documentation of oneself. I also began questioning why I hate having my picture taken. As a kid, it never seemed a problem... posing on the beach in Mexico when I was one wearing my mother's negligee. But as I've grown up and been assimilated into a culture of judgements and self-loathing, I've become much less open to myself and others. I've become reclusive- knowing that in hiding oneself, there is no rejection. In the past, I've thought that hiding myself from others was easier than the alternative. And now, I realize that we are only granted one life on this earth, one chance to connect with others going through the same worldly experience, one opportunity to experience as much as we possibly can. It's not necessarily easier to close oneself off from the outside world but it is definitely much lonelier. So what if someone misunderstands you? We are not here to make everyone else happy. We are here to find happiness within ourselves.

Here are some preliminary self portraits. I'm learning to be closer to the other side of the lens and to be open to all the failure and rejection I will experience in the future. Without being open to all the failures in this life, you cannot be open to all the possibilities either.

I see myself in you.

The rest are from when I was living in Mexico in 2008.